Because I know you're human and you really act like you care. I know that your family owns this building. I know you have several units in here under similar setups. I know you're working in a family business and doing some pretty cool things with the resources you have. You didn't have to tell me — I get pretty scary about what I know and what I can do when I want to be. I could be a better guest and just eat this and walk away.
None of this is my problem.
But that ten days of hell was my problem. Two nights had me finished, but after that point, I'd have to move my bags yet again — and fight you to get my money back. Fighting requires sleep. I think sleep is under my bed. Or wait, did I leave it under my donkey. Wait, someone said donkey. Are we in the desert? No wait, I would probably get more sleep in the desert.
You advertised an upscale hostel-style place to have access to a full kitchen, bathroom and workspace. I had none of that. I haven't slept, worked or barely ate this whole time. You know this. You know this. You know that my one bad review will mess up everything you're trying to build, so you are super-nice and super-accommodating, and super-know I just want to get the fuck out and not have to deal with you ever again. I know you're being a jerk to me trying to make ends meet. You're setting boundaries. That's something I should do.
Damn it, stop trying to teach me life lessons with your failures. It still wasn't okay.
Your entire model was misleading and you are messing with people's lives. I want to say a lot of swear words here, but I want the soccer moms to read this crappy blog (I am too tired to care to write anything graceful or with purpose or with good PR value. F*** that, you a******).
Upscale in DC does not mean "we haven't updated a darn anything in the unit since 1993." Tim Allen had better cabinets on the set of Home Improvement.
A "full kitchen" does not mean "you can't use the kitchen." I'm sorry, it doesn't. The very basic things here were left here by the weary travelers of the past. "Cook full meals here," does not mean "by the way, bring your own can opener and cups." On top of the fact that if I had to use the kitchen ever -- THERE WAS SOMEONE SLEEPING IN IT.
"Space to work" does not mean that you can never use the workspace. Crap, I forgot what I was going to write about that. No, wait. It was donkeys. ********* I need some ****** sleep. ********.
Oh wait. I remember. It's that the workspace is also the kitchen table. And the second bedroom. The space was not conducive to any two people needing to do anything at the same time. I wanted to make this post more productive, but after ten days of not sleeping and two days of sleeping in my new space, I just need to dump the rest of what I messaged the Airbnb host (not a review):
I am going to stay through my check out date, but wanted to bring a lot of things to your attention for future guests.
I appreciate how you all have taken the Airbnb platform and done so many wonderful things to make it simple for hosts and guests. That is very amazing and necessary gift we all get to share in 2019 that wasn’t possible just a few years ago.
The door codes do make easy entry/exit. I do appreciate that. I appreciate the ease with which you’ve made instant booking. I had a space emergency and needed that -- thank you. I appreciate the large rug and the ironing board (not used by me). I appreciate the colorfulness ... of the sheets and how they change as people drop in and leave. I appreciate the attention the cleaning crew gives to this space.
This setup is not good for long stays. Everyone is too on top of each other for the price, should be lower or less people. No privacy at all. Too overwhelming on some days for not just me.
Blinds need updating, too old/cheap, hard to manipulate on large windows. The bathroom blind needs the most attention — won’t close all the way anymore, but the blinds have to be opened to open the windows. And the windows need attention. They are difficult or impossible to open, and manipulating them when other people are sleeping is inconsiderate of others.
Eight people in this situation is too much, especially if you have multiple units in this building set up like this. One night, some maniac was screaming outside our window for more than 30 minutes, because his girlfriend was staying in an Airbnb you guys also manage. He wanted to be let in. And someone else staying here let him in — but while we checked to make sure the other guest was okay, she didn’t want him there. There are lots of travelers who aren’t necessarily street smart or familiar with other cultures and that puts everyone else at risk. I advised that person they need to just call police next time.
But that situation would also have been avoided if the blinds and windows weren’t so difficult to operate. We could all hear him through the entire condo, because we gave up on trying to shut them.
One bathroom for 8 people in this setup is not enough for the price. I had an important meeting early on Saturday morning and two guests who came in at 3am and couldn’t find their door code locked us all out of the bathroom for hours. I understand this is a rare situation and not your fault, but not only could I not shower, shave, brush my teeth, do my makeup or get my clothes out of the dryer, but I also couldn’t use the other mirror, because turning the light on would have woken up everyone sleeping in the common area.
The bathroom door needs to be able to be unlocked from the outside. It can be locked accidentally. However, on Saturday when two people were sleeping in there, I knocked several times and then tried to unlock the door — but the unlock mechanism does not work. I couldn’t open the door. I did text you with no response. I did not call, because I did not have time to wait to find a bathroom and make due with the situation we were in. I warned the other folks, who started to leave to make other bathroom plans at 6am on a Saturday morning.
In talking with another guest, we decided that I should bring the door to your attention, because those guests told us they fell asleep in that deep bathtub after soaking. That meant that if they had a medical emergency, none of us could get in there and deliver life-saving techniques. It would have been hours and hours later they were found.
Not all the disruptions can be managed with ear plugs.
Bunk beds are too cheap and squeak, shake constantly — when anyone makes a move in bed. No one can move in bed without waking up someone else or everyone else. Almost all 8 of us slept horribly last night as a result. That is separate from all of the noise around. People with different schedules leaving earlier/coming in late — with no opportunity to not disturb everyone. Common area should not be intermingled this poorly with major sleeping space. There is no place to relax or work without disturbing everyone.
The music at the space on weekends is ridiculous. The bass coming through the floor has disrupted quite a bit of sleep around here. It can’t be helped, but we all would have gotten sleep last night if simple things to prevent weren’t an issue.
Not a good place if anyone needs to do any amount of work. The dining table is everything for everyone. The only place to actually work, eat, organize, set something down quickly. Two of us were working and we both couldn’t help but constantly shake the table on each other. No place to make a phone call without disturbing anyone else around. I found a small amount of quiet time before the cleaning crew came in and I was then having to accommodate them.
Barely any basic kitchen amenities require anyone wanting to have to buy way too much extra stuff to make use of a full kitchen. For example, a can opener or a steak knife. I am leaving a couple of extra things that I had in my storage unit.
The washer is horribly loud. It would be nice to have detergent available, as that is difficult to travel with and expensive to have to purchase all of these things if needing to use them.
Many of the lights are out. Most of the bathroom vanity lights, and it took me four days to figure out another light switch was behind the door. Poorly positioned, have to close the door to access it. A note on the door or on the light switch about the location of the other switch would be appreciated by many guests.
The closet light is out or not working, which makes it very difficult in the dark to see what’s in there without turning on the bedroom light and again waking everyone up.
There were no hangers in the closet, as advertised. Someone went and purchased a few.
The bathroom does need some kind of mat solution. Anyone getting out of the shower/tub winds up leaving a dangerous amount of water on the floor. Twice, I’ve gone in after someone else and almost slid across the floor.
There is no hair dryer, as advertised.
It was very difficult to take a bath with the shampoo/conditioner/soap dispenser only being located in the separate shower. It is not easy access for the bathtub. I had to go back to my storage unit and get mine.
Just a couple of thoughts. I appreciate that you’ve made these spaces available to us. My apologies this is a lot of information. I'll pick differently next time, but I've booked a few Airbnb's like this and have not had these same issues.
Thanks, audience. And there's way more to come. Most of them are less-bitchy, more-sleepy.
Love, Rebecca
Love, Rebecca
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